When a close friend or loved one experiences a health, learning or physical disability which requires care, an understandable first reaction is to want to provide this ourselves so that they are able to stay in the familiar surroundings where they are at their happiest.  

The type of care and level of challenge this presents will depend upon the nature of the illness or disability, and the time commitment required. For many carers, this isn’t even a factor in their willingness to take on the role and they will attempt to provide care and support for as long as necessary.  

However, as time goes on and needs change, stresses and strains can begin to emerge, causing the caregiver to experience anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed. This can result in them being unable to perform their role to the best of their ability.  

Carers in the UK: A mental health crisis? 

In England and Wales, there are around 5 million people (2021 Census Analysis) who provide unpaid care for a friend or loved one, and many of them may well be experiencing adverse effects to their mental and physical health. According to The State of Caring 2022 Survey, nearly a third of participating carers (30%) stated that their mental health was either bad or very bad, with many attributing this to a lack of practical support.  

Caring for someone you love can be immensely rewarding but it can also be intensely demanding, often giving rise to mental and physical exhaustion, together with complex and difficult emotions which can change over time.  

If left unchecked, these feelings can lead to a persistently low mood for the caregiver which could ultimately result in depression. It can even result in the individual receiving care being admitted to hospital or residential care.  

If you feel that you may be depressed, it is essential that you speak with your GP to ensure that you receive appropriate support. However, if you recognise that you may be experiencing some of the following signs and are beginning to struggle with some aspects of your caregiving role, there are things that you can do to help. 

Carers: Signs you might need help 

You may be feeling: 

  • Resentful about how your life has changed 
  • Guilty for feeling resentful 
  • Inadequate to perform your caring role 
  • A sense of loss  

These feelings are entirely natural and do not make you a bad person. However, these feelings can be difficult to deal with, especially when you are devoting your time and energy every day to responding to the needs of others, making it easy to neglect your own mental wellbeing. 

Strategies for carers to support your mental health 

Be kind to yourself! Don’t underestimate all the good qualities that you possess. Remember you are only human and that nobody is perfect. 

Talk! Don’t bottle up your feelings – share them with friends and family members, or join a support group specifically for carers where you will be able to talk to others who have had similar experiences. They might also be able to suggest solutions that have been successful for them and may give you a sense of perspective. 

Stay hydrated. Drinking enough fluids is important for your brain and can help keep your mood stable. Avoid too much caffeine or alcohol which can have the opposite effect. 

Take time out. Give yourself time throughout the day entirely for yourself. You might consider taking 10 minutes in the garden to observe nature, practice meditation or mindfulness, or spend several minutes doing stretches. 

Stay active. Although it is difficult to find time for yourself, creating a regular time slot once or twice a week when a family member or friend can relieve you of your care responsibilities may have an enormously positive impact on your mental health. Do something active every day such as dancing or walking. 

Eat well. Regular meals containing a healthy variety of ingredients will help maintain your physical and mental wellbeing. 

Be Realistic! It’s important to pace yourself! Have realistic expectations of yourself and tackle one thing at a time to maintain control of your situation and achieve a sense of success in your caregiving role.  

Sleep. Try to ensure that you get enough sleep to fulfill your caregiving role as effectively as possible. If you know that you will need to be up in the night to support your loved one, go to bed earlier. 

Share the responsibility. Try to develop your own support network. Ideally other family members could take on some of the care responsibility and enable you to rest or get much needed time for yourself, but when this is not always possible due to family dynamics, you could consider using professional home carers. 

Assist Care Group: How we help 

Assist Care Group was founded to provide individually tailored care and support, rooted in compassion, to improve the lives not only of those in our care, but also their families and caregivers. 

Sometimes this is through daily visits to your loved one to help with personal care or provide companionship while you take a break, or for longer periods of respite care to enable you to take a holiday.  

At Assist Care Group we are familiar with all the issues and use our extensive knowledge and skills to help you to cope. If we can help to remove even half of the stresses of everyday life by taking care of essentials for your loved one, and providing counselling, companionship and support to you as caregiver, we will make life much more enjoyable for all. 

Contact us to set up a time to talk. We’d love to help.